Paranoia Is Best Taken Lightheartedly

The inspiration for this topic came from my trip to the doctor the other week. I had never met or seen this doctor before and so meeting a doctor for the first time is a little nerve-wracking especially when you're a closet hypochondriac like me. Which is where that paranoia starts, because I was certain by the end of my visit he was going to out me, or at least chart me as a hypochondriac.

Well I was promptly taken back to an exam room and as such I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, until the nurse came in and told me a previous appointment was running later than they expected but that he'd be in shortly. So now I will tell you the secondary awkward paranoia that came to me during what seemed to be a never ending wait to inevitably diagnose me as a hypochondriac.

So whenever I am waiting and waiting anywhere without a magazine to look at either by lack of or quality of choice, I begin to look around the room, count the ceiling tiles if they exist, notice the floors and furniture, and notice the cleanliness or nit picky lack there of among other observational things. I am generally drawn to vents, and every time I see a vent, I think "what if there's a camera on me, and what if they are watching my every move rather than really "in with another patient" as they want me to believe. Well this gave me such a brilliant idea for a post, so I pulled my little notebook of ideas out of my purse and started to write this down. As I was writing this down and second paranoid delusional thought passed through my head, "what if the doctor walks in on me as I'm writing this down, what is he going to think, say, or demand to know about what I am writing." This caused me to laugh which brought my paranoid thought full circle, "what if paranoia is why I'm actually here visiting the doctor today?" Which of course amplifies the paranoia of being outed as a hypochondriac. Is this irony, tragedy, or both?

All this from the thought of a camera on me. You know what's sad or funny as you might see it, every time I'm in a public bathroom and I see a vent in full view of the toilet, I'm paranoid that there might be a camera on me. :)

That's All Folks!!!
Same time same place next week. Though I might take Labor Day Weekend off. If so, don't labor on Labor Day if you can help it. Have a safe and happy holiday!