September 14, 2010

The True Meaning of "Pregnancy Glow"

So growing up I heard about this "glow" that you get when your pregnant. I don't recall whether or not it was specifically explained to me as this look of joy and happiness that you get knowing that your offspring is growing inside you, but somehow that is what I always interpreted the meaning to be. I've even gotten the comment a few times myself.

Here's the thing, until recently I've been fighting pretty regular morning sickness either first thing in the morning or in the afternoon/evening. So I didn't feel like joy and happiness was oozing from my face. That leaves one other option which gives a whole new meaning to "glow." My face broke out like I was 12 or 13 all over again. I was humiliated. Then and now. I thought I left 13 back in 1991! Mom did NOT warn me that my face would look this bad. And all the magazines and Internet articles that said your skin never looks better than when your pregnant LIED! Can I sue them for mental anguish or something like that? At least when I'm not pregnant I can treat it with drugs that work. When you're pregnant, they don't let you use the stuff that works so you just have to 'deal' with it and hope it clears up before you die. Even better before you deliver. I'm still waiting, though it's a little better than when it was at it's worst.

I ooze oil when my face is out of control despite the assistance of makeup. I have so much oil on my face, BP needs to dispatch a clean up crew to help. (sorry for the lame joke...not really!) So I assume any "glow" that I had or even still have at times is due to the light reflecting off of the oil field on my forehead. That's the only possible explanation I have for anytime I glow since I can't bring myself to utter the words "I've never felt better in my life" to describe being pregnant. That would be a big fat lie coming from my mouth.

So there you have it...Pregnancy Glow is a polite way of saying 'how old are you? 13?!?!' or 'your skin is terrifying! But I can't look away!' or 'Thank God my skin doesn't look as bad as yours!!' I'm sure I could go on and on, but you get the point. Pregnancy Glow, no matter how well-intentioned, is not a compliment. Unless you're one of the lucky few that not only didn't get sick but never had better skin in your whole life.