How to Get Knocked up Like a Sorority Girl

So in the event that any of you have been wondering where I've been, I've been puking my guts out and sleeping and generally feeling motivated to do as little as possible including write. Lucky you, I'm back!!!

Yes, I'm knocked up....Half-way through and just found out it's a girl! So the next several posts will be dedicated to all of the awkward crap about pregnancy my mother didn't tell me about. The puking I expected. That was about it.

So the first part to having a baby is actually conceiving. As many of you know it's not nearly as simple as going off birth control. Though my mom seemed to be under that impression. Apparently that's how it worked for her. Off a couple a months then BAM!!! What she didn't take into account is that she was in her early 20's, I'm waited until 31 to 'stop preventing.'

Anyways so I was so good that I only consumed adult beverages during the week that confirmed conception failure. Several months passed and still no luck. I decided that maybe I ought to try tracking my temperature, because this option is much cheaper than buying an ovulation kit. Plus I didn't want to lose money if it didn't work. So I started tracking my temperature. I get up at 5am during the week for work. The weekends I sleep until at least 6:30 or later, but you must take it at the same time everyday. That sucked big time. To top it off, I got sick sometime during month 2, which screwed my normal temperature way up for a week. So I gave that up. I decided it was more work then I was willing to do that early on in the 'not preventing' process. I figured I'd pick it up again if I got closer to a year out and wanted to have information to take to a doctor.

So back to the adult beverages and the title of this post. Some time later, I was about to go visit some friends and my week of confirmed failure was about to start in a couple of days, so I did invest in an 'early' pregnancy test and used that as my confirmation and peace of mind that it was ok to have a margarita or two. So I didn't worry about it and had a great time with them. Not a sorority girl amount of a good time that could get me arrested for walking around in public, but enough.

We got home on the day failure was to be confirmed, I was mowing the lawn and my back snapped and started hurting. Failure wasn't confirmed that day but my back continued to hurt. I suspected that failure hadn't happened, but as I only had 1 pregnancy test left, I didn't want to take it until my body was really ready to pass it, because again, I'm cheap, and I really really didn't want to spend the money on a new box if I didn't have to. So I waited for about 5 days before I took it again, which was exactly 1 week after I took the first one. I passed!

So moral of the story. Don't stress yourself out by trying to do everything right to get pregnant. Relax and have fun with it. And for pete's sake don't keep drinking after you confirm you're pregnant. Oh and secondary moral, don't believe those commercials about the pregnancy tests working early. It's a trick to get you to buy more tests! I should sue for false advertising, but they covered themselves with a disclaimer on the box.

Awkward Quandry of the Day

Why are big sunglasses considered fashionable when big regular glasses from 1980-1993 still aren't considered fashionable?

I got my first pair yesterday and today while wearing them on my walk today, I found myself feeling like I was in 3rd-8th grade. They feel heavy and awkward and I'm constantly pushing them up my nose while they are constantly weighing me down.

My big sunglasses aren't nearly as big as the ones I see everyone else wearing. How do they do it without going insane? If I had to wear them all day, I'd get angry like I did with my glasses growing up. I remember throwing them across the gym floor once or twice they made me so mad. Good thing I don't wear my sunglasses all day and it's also good that I only paid $10 for them.

Youtube is Not Always Your Friend

Ohhh what's more awkward than having a wardrobe malfunction caught on video? Having it placed on youtube. Nonetheless I laughed hysterically enough to post it. Hope you enjoy.

Facebook is Like Reliving Highschool All Over Again

My mother obviously couldn't have taught me this because she isn't even on Facebook. Which is really probably a good thing. I resisted the "social networking" frenzy as long as I possibly could out of the principle of the matter. Mostly because My Space dominated the market and it seemed like something for musicians, teenagers, and child predators. I wanted nothing to do with it even after Facebook entered the scene. But then a year ago my curiosity got the better of me and so I gave in.

Immediately I got friend requests from people I knew in college all the way back to people I knew in elementary school. Which, since I moved around more than most people I know, I had lost touch with many of them so it was pretty neat to touch base with them again after all these years.

In case you haven't figured it out, I hated most of high school except my freshman year. Well suddenly I'm facebook friends with these people who somehow contributed to this awkward time of my life. And before you know it you're "friends" with a bunch of other people you knew at some point in your life either because you drunk friended them (like drunk dialing) or sober friended them because you talked yourself into the nerve to send them a friend request. Or they did the same to you.

So I saw no facebook etiquette for how to handle a new friend. I thought it only polite to at the very least say hi on their wall or even email them to catch up. I genuinely cared too. I found out it was like being in high school all over again where they find it amusing to just ignore my "hello how are you." And they sent me the request!!! Why would you friend me only to ignore me. Or accept a friend request only to ignore me. Trust me if you didn't care enough about me to keep up with me until now, my life is not nearly interesting enough to ignore me on facebook.

Then there are those that just send you a friend request because they want numbers. So if they ever ran across your path or went to the same school as you, they send you and 100's others requests. But they never bothered to get to know you ever. I'm not convinced they really knew my name. They just saw me in a school group they are in or something like that. So what do I do? I just say no. Lots of friends don't make you a super nice and genuine friend and person. That's not to say I'm super close with all of my facebook friends, but I do know that they knew my name or I knew them and we've all had some sort of interaction be it have actual classes together or actual conversations no matter how short.

That said it's here to stay and it's a much better forum than most of the other "social networking" forums and who knows, maybe it will result in a job someday when I need or want it. Also I find it to be the only way some of my friends communicate anymore. I still prefer email and am glad some of my closer friends also keep in touch that way. Needless to say, I no longer feel like I must make some form of communication with with a new friend. But I always always respond, if someone wants to know what's up with me.

Happy New Year!!!

So I've never been big into resolutions because often people seem to make them about things that involve changing habits or lifestyle that they don't really want to change. But in keeping with the theme of this blog, I've decided to spend less time worrying about my crows feet and gray hairs that I can't keep up with, and spend more time enjoying getting them.

2010 is going to be a great year and a great start to another great decade! Perhaps that's because as I get older, I do less awkward things. Or perhaps it's because I care less about embarrassing myself.

Hope you all have a fabulous year!

Christmas Commercialism

In the spirit of Christmas I decided to post about what used to be my favorite time of the year as a kid. Now it's Thanksgiving, because there are not gifts, candy, or other merchandising pressures on that Holiday. It's just a time to get together with family and friends and be Thankful for them and for life and to enjoy time with them.

Christmas should be about that universally, and if you're a Christian the birth of Christ. But as I've aged it seems like it's become more about the commercialism. Gifts this and gifts that. When I was younger and didn't have expenses I loved buying gifts for my family and friends. It gave me great pleasure to give them something that hopefully I had picked up on that they wanted or would like.

However I remember the exact moment it changed for me. I was in college and suddenly one year it became about "I want you to get me this" and "so and so is going to get me that." I didn't like being told want to get someone. It took the joy out of getting them something that I had thought of knowing them and their personality and their likes etc. That's when the fun of giving at Christmas started to leave for me. Not to mention for the next several years out of college I was broke and couldn't meet the expectations of giving to some people.

I was too dumb and at the time talentless to think of making gifts back then. But I would love to see everyone thumb their nose at the commercialism of Christmas and get creative in their gifts. Maybe it's making a meal, cookies, or bread. Maybe it's drawing or painting a picture. Maybe it's sewing or knitting something. Maybe it's building something out of wood like chair or table. Maybe it's giving your time to babysit, or mow the lawn, or clean the house. Maybe you have some other skill or talent to share with family and friends. It doesn't mean you won't spend any money, but you might spend a lot less and you put your time and heart in it.

I know many people already do this, I just wish I'd thought of this for myself a lot sooner than this year. It also takes time to change traditions in families, and sometimes you may not be successful to the point you'd like to be. It's sometimes hard to change habits cold turkey. But let's take back Christmas to make it about true giving rather than superficial giving.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Is Crying Because You Lost Manly?

Here's one for the guys that the ladies can maintain interest in and an have an opinion about. The premise is not "is it ok for a man to cry ever," because I will agree that there are appropriate times for a man to cry. Well in reality this should apply to women too, however it's more acceptable for women to cry for no reason or at the drop of a hat. What shouldn't be appropriate for women is to cry as a manipulation tool, which many of us either have done or do.

But I digress.

Yesterday after Florida's loss to Alabama (college football for those of you still not following me), Florida's quarterback Tim Tebow was crying. Of course he was spared from the cameras so there were plenty of good shots of him crying so there's no mistaking that he had something stuck in his eyes other than tears. They didn't even stack up to Alabama and he was crying because they lost. This isn't the first time he's cried because his team lost a game.

I personally think it's awkward for a man to show such a display after losing a game. And I think less of him as a man. It makes him look like a spoiled brat that he didn't get his way. Little kids cry after losing a game, not men. My first thought is does that boy have a daddy to teach him how to be a man? Or did he only have a mother and thus learned how not to control his emotions when it's appropriate to control them.

Losing a game is not an appropriate time to cry. Though feel free to disagree with me if you like. You'll still be wrong in my eyes. And I'm sure I'll remain wrong in your eyes. I don't much care for crying for joy either after a win, but that's less offensive than crying because you didn't win the game. Tell me what you think.