November 15, 2009

He Doesn't Belong With You

So it's virtually impossible not to here the Taylor Swift song on the radio since even if you only listen while driving to work in the mornings. So the song I'm referring to is that "You Belong With Me." If you haven't figured out why she's making millions off of it, listen to the words, it's what every not dating girl aged 14-24 is thinking about their guy friends that they have unrequited crushes on. These guys apparently like talking to them and hanging out with them, while they are dating and kissing on other girls.

I can remember several times growing up where I didn't understand why "he" didn't see the chemistry between us that I saw. This is because my mother didn't teach me what I sense I may not have listened to, thus requiring that I learn this lesson on my own over time. If I could talk to Taylor and all other other girls out there this is what I'd say:

"He doesn't belong with you. He's not romantically interested in you, and probably never will be, otherwise he'd be asking you out on dates, not kissing on those other girls. He probably respects you and likes you as a person, but even if you put on a cheerleader outfit or high heels and cute skirt and lots of makeup, he still won't see what you want him to see. He knows you want him and that feeds his ego. That's why he makes sure to keep you in the 'friend zone.'"

"You belong with someone whose heart and butterflies flutter when he sees you. You belong with someone who only has eyes for you. You belong with someone you choose who chooses you back. You belong with someone who wouldn't string you along just to feed his ego. You belong with someone who makes you a better person and is a better person by virtue of being with you. You belong with someone who you sweep off of their feet rather than the other way around."

"He belongs with someone else not because he's a bad person or an egomaniac, but because he doesn't belong with you. He is too immature for you or anyone right now, but hopefully he'll find someone someday that sweeps him off his feet and makes him become a man. He belongs with someone who will make him a better person by virtue of being with her. He deserves the same thing you do, he's just not choosing it with you. So don't waste your time pining when you could be missing out on spending time with lots of other great guys that do meet those conditions."

Perhaps this is a lesson that girls must learn on their own, but I'll be damned if I don't try to teach or at least warn any daughters of mine that I see wasting their time pining over some boy who is stringing them along. This lesson didn't apply to every boy I had a crush on, just the ones who were actually friends and were spending time with me.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but had I wrote that song I'd be a millionaire too! I just lived it more or less.


Sandi K said...

You hit the nail on the head, dear! Too bad there are so many young girls (and boys - I have 3 teenage boys, they are not immune to this)who have to learn that lesson the hard way.

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