June 21, 2009

Just Because Everyone Else Doesn't Think Exactly As You Do, Doesn't Make Them Wrong!

This is a subject that often comes up with me in the form of having such high expectations of others. It's very difficult for me because it often frustrates me or makes me feel like a terrible person, depending on the circumstance. Both of which are awkward positions to be in.

Work is one place that beat me down in this arena. I expect people to put the effort I do into communication, learning, and performance. This doesn't mean that mistakes and screw ups won't happen, but I make an effort to learn from mistakes and apply what I've learned for the future in similar and different situations or projects. I often find this doesn't happen, and what is even more frustrating or awkward, is that this is consistently tolerated. Although maybe what I don't notice is that these are the people that don't get promoted. It is possible that they stay in the same jobs until they retire. I suppose that's not so bad. But I often find myself getting beat down about this. And it's not that I want to lower my expectations, I want everyone to step it up a notch or two. If only a notch. I want them to strive to improve, if only a little.

This also happens in regular life when I find myself being judgemental or critical of people that get married young, which was 26 for me so younger than 25 is too young by my definition. Not that it's wrong or can't be handled, I just think there's live to be lived before getting married and that many people pass it up because they are so focused on growing up and getting married. Not that growing up and getting married is a bad thing. The next thing people do too young in my opinion is have kids. I have always had a 5 year timeline for being married before having kids. And I see so many people that are younger than me, married for less time than me having kids. Not that they can't handle it, but it just seems like a step people rush into.

It's awkward for me because I don't like to be so harsh or critical of them, although I do try and keep those opinions to myself. I don't call them up and say "What they hell are you thinking!!!! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG!!!" In reality they may not be, but I definitely was at their age. It's different for everyone. And just because they don't think the way I do for marriage and kids, doesn't make them wrong, it just makes them more grown up then me. The truth is, both of those decisions terrified me for a long time (one still does) and I don't understand people that weren't as terrified as me for both of those decisions. Maybe that just means I'm immature. Which if true, is exceptionally awkward for me as I've always been labeled mature.

Am I alone with this awkward internal struggle?


Rhianna said...

For me I have known what I wanted as far as relationships and such before I was even a teenager. Seems weird but I just knew. I met my husband 1 month before my 18th birthday. We were married 3 1/2 yrs later, I was 21. Its been 6 yrs this Nov. I'm ` month from 27 and I wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
We did take the time to enjoy our marriage before kids and have just started our TTC "quest" if you will.

Anyway I found you on Blog Explosion and I am following you.


Amber Sunshine said...

Thanks for stopping by!! Glad you took time together before kids...I can't imagine getting knocked up on the honeymoon like some people do! :) accidentally or intentionally...whatever works for everyone as long as they don't hurt kids in the process...

Little Me said...

Never agreeing with anyone I just hmm and ah and ask polite questions. Maybe it is an English thing. I hear all kinds of cr*p from people every day. You CAN give your opinion, but if you're opinion offends then just let it go and be smug in the knowledge that you are right. This attitude gets me through life!