April 5, 2009

How To Get Used to Your Brother Liking Your Friends

I have an older brother. He's married now to someone that we didn't grow up with or go to school with, so I lucked out. He introduced me to her, not the other way around. This is how it should be. But there were many years that it didn't work out this way. All the way up until he finally went to college. We were in high school together for one year. That might have been the worst for me regarding this topic. But first I will start from the beginning.

Back in 2nd grade (5th for him), we went to a 2 teacher school that probably had a total of 20-25 students in grades 1-8. I still thought boys were oogy back then, but my brother did not think girls were oogy. He thought they were cute. He wasn't going to do anything with them obviously but you remember how it was when you were 10 or 11. Anyways I had this friend who was new to our school and she was in my grade, so since there were 4 of us in 2nd grade and 3 of us were girls, naturally we became friends. Somewhere along the way in hanging out with her, my brother was around her too. He saw her everyday so why wouldn't he notice her out of 20 people? I don't know how I figured it out but somewhere along the way he either told me or made it apparent that he found her attractive or liked her or something like that. Ohhh!!! Stay away from my friend!!!!

We left a year later and moved to a new school and made new friends. This school was bigger but for some reason not big enough. The new friend I made in my class was the only other girl in my grade, not the school but my grade. My brother had several cute girls in his class but he still liked my friend....WHAT!?!?! Again he was really too young to really do anything about it. But I'm convinced he was bold enough to let her know before she moved away. I can't really remember and I don't really care to. In the meantime not only did my brother like her but so did every other boy within a grade or two of us probably. I do know one boy in my class sent her the "will you be my special friend" note. I never got one of those so I think I was probably more jealous of her than anything. But my brother wasn't supposed to be piling onto this admiration for her!!!! After she moved away I had a few years of peace, I suppose because the girls his age were hitting puberty and sprouting boobies, so he had other girls to capture his attention for a few years until my class caught up.

So after a few years we moved again and went to another school. Bigger than the 2nd school but still relatively small in relation to public schools. I was in 7th grade at this point and he was in high school. This meant I had another couple of years of peace, maybe because most of us were in the midst of the most awkward years any girl goes through. Even the "hot" girls were a little awkward at this age in that they were still a little flat, or had pizza faces, or glasses, or said weird things, or had other awkward things happening to them in front of the audience of the rest of the school to witness, point, and laugh. (This is how it went for me in my head.)

The minute I got to high school, a new flock of students joined our class that didn't experience the most awkward years of their life in front of the whole school. So wouldn't you know it there was a new group of girls for my brother to notice. He'd had a couple years experience at dating by this point and he wasn't shy. This is why this was the worst time period in my life for him to like my friends. This was the year that he actually asked some of them to banquets or on dates or to hang out or whatever. Gag me!!!! Again only because his friends weren't asking me to banquets or on dates or to hang out or whatever. He did throw me a bone once in awhile by letting me and my friends hang out with him and his friends. But only if they came over to our house to watch movies or something like that. Before he wouldn't have invited them over if I was going to be there. Doesn't matter, he still wasn't supposed to ask my friends out!!! What was wrong with girls his own age. He dated so much maybe he'd been out with all of them and didn't want to go out with any of them again. Or maybe they were turning him down. He had a few steady girlfriends (at different times) but mostly just went out for fun with several different girls. I suppose I should be grateful that he didn't date any of my friends long term. Only went on one or two dates with them. Didn't make it any less painful for me.


Am I the only one that had this problem growing up? Please let me know if I'm not alone. I'm over it now. Although I suppose you could hardly tell if I'm writing about it. My mother never prepared me for the possibility of my brother liking my friends. I suppose she told me to get over it. I don't really remember it. I mean it's not like she could tell him "don't like your sister's friends," any more than she could tell me "don't like your brother's friends."

Oh well...I'm glad he married who he did rather than one of my friends. That would have been weird for me. Although, she is only 10 days older than me....Hmmm....Guess he never got over his thing for the ladies 3 years younger than him. Now that we are adults, it's way less weird.


Ranu said...

love your blog and all that you write!!!

I don't have any experiences like yours simply because I have no brothers..... thank God for that!!! But I do have two older sisters...... much much older than me. I once had a crush on a guy who played in the same band as I sang and he had a crush on my older sis and some years later.... my second sister got proposal for marriage from his family for him (arranged marriage).

I saw him last year. I could not recognize him..... he looked YUCK!!!

keep writing !!!

Jay said...

but my brother did not think girls were oogy. He thought they were cute.

-- I'll be a prick on this one: this is exactly where you stand, you didn't consider yourself part of the girls' group as you didn't say "He thought we were cute". lol

Finishing up on the rest...

Amber Sunshine said...

well i am his sister...i didn't want him to think I was cute...yuck!!! we aren't from kentucky or arkansas :)...

Ranu thanks for stopping by...Hope you come back!! and it's always sweet justice when a former unrequited crush turns out yucky.. or something... I really think it means we grew up and realized/admitted that we wouldn't have been a good match anyways...But that is where not having sisters was nice I guess...No competing or liking the same guys...what am I talking about?? My friends and I always liked the same guys at times...

n a n d a said...

i know how it feels :D

my friend dating my younger sis.
it's kinda weird cos this friend of mine is this silly-and-naive-just-a-friend-clearly-not-an-option type of guy, and i often tell my sis stupid things he said/did and we laughed at him TOGETHER.

then suddenly they start dating O_O
(is this my karma for making fun of him?) O_O

feel awkward at first.
getting more awkward every time he drive my sis home after date.
really awkward having my sis hanging out w/ MY group of friends w/ her status as "HIS gf" instead of "MY sis".
super awkward watching them talking on the phone, being together, having those "lovers' quarrels' thingy, and when HE told ME that he LOVES her *omg-i-dun-wanna-hear-that* O_O

at least for me (some ppl may think it's not a big deal)
make me think "am i just jealous?"
naaaaah, it's just AWKWARD

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