October 25, 2009

Diarrhea of the Mouth is.....????

What's awkward is listening to people who have it and not knowing how to handle this situation. I had a boss with this problem. His diarrhea pushed the line of sexist or just inappropriate. And it didn't really seem to hurt him since he's was making good money....moral of the story....perhaps I'm too careful with my words....professionally and personally.....which might be the cause of the following...

What's even more awkward is that I've nothing awkward left to write about and no one reading anymore so really, what's the point???

I think I'll take a hiatus until I get inspired again and until I've improved my diarrhea of the mouth for posting. As this might be an appropriate medium for it....

Until then feel free to look through my old posts. Some of them don't suck so bad.

October 11, 2009

A Perm Isn't Called a Perm Because It's Temporary

Perhaps I'm the only one to experience this phenomenon, but does anyone else remember when perms were the rage in the 80's? My mom had the short perm look that she still used a curling iron on. What was the point of the perm? I still don't know. The perm look that I liked was the spiral perm that only blondes seemed to pull off or get to work right.

I guess I decided at one point that I wanted one so my mom went to cosmetology school to learn how to do a perm. No but she did go to the store and get one and the rods if she didn't already have one. And she did the perm herself. I was looking for the cute spiral perm results but that's not how it came out. My hair was fine other than not looking like I wanted it to. Amazingly without schooling and a license, my mom did not fry my hair. Well...

So I hated my hair but made due with it for awhile. I really wanted a professional to do it because I was convinced they could give me the spiral perm I wanted. So at least once or twice in my live my mom took me to a professional to have it done. It still turned out the same way. Not cool. It only added to my awkward, zitty, big giant glasses, bad perm dorkyness. As far as I can remember I was given somewhere between 2 and 4 perms in my life. Half by my mom and the other half professionally. I was never satisfied with the results so I was determined to let it all grow out to my once beautiful straight hair.

It grew and grew and grew and 18+ years later, I still have some kind of curly hair. I can't just let my hair naturally dry and get beautiful hair. I have to use heat to make it straighten it and make it look remotely presentable. But then I still have that nagging frizziness that pops up in humidity.

A few years ago a professional showed me what to do to make left over perm in my hair look good. I tried it for awhile but not for long because I suppose it was too much work for me. You see I'm pretty lazy when it comes to my hair. But a few weeks ago I decided to give it a try again to see if it took any longer than my normal routine to straighten my hair. Turns out it takes about the same time as long as I put the hair dryer on high. With the right product in my hair, it doesn't look half bad. So I decided to try it at work all last week. I might keep it up since my look has felt redundant for most of my life. Just with varying lengths. I'm just not a huge fan of overly crunchy or wet looking hair. So I suppose I'll have to experiment with various products. I just wish I'd known how to fix it back then to make it look half-way decent.

The point is, had I known all of those years ago that a perm was going to fry my hair follicles to permanently make my hair grow wavy, I wouldn't have bothered. I went so far as trying to do my own "straight perm" at home. Didn't work. I didn't even notice a difference when I was done. Am I the only one who learned this the hard way? Someone tried to tell me in college that it was puberty. She can sell it but I'm not buying it. It was that dadgum perm! You won't convince me otherwise in spite of what evidence to the contrary might be out there.

October 4, 2009

Online Dating Isn't for Everyone

Online dating is what about 10-12 years old now. Right? Maybe more. Before then blind dates consisted of being set up by friends, parents, co-workers, etc. Perhaps answering ads in the back of sketchy magazines, but I'm sure most normal people stayed away from that. Anyways so my mom really couldn't warn me about online dating. I'm going to share with you my one and only experience with it. I'll tell you the punch line now, it was not with my husband. I met him the old fashioned way. At church!

This happened shortly after college though I can't remember the exact year. Maybe 2002 or 2003. So I was playing around online with a dating sight and I don't exactly remember how but signed up for the 2 week free trial as a joke. So we started trolling through profiles in spite of not setting one up for me. So I ran across a guy that struck my fancy. He had a full head of hair, and confident demeanor about him which instantly attracted me. He lived about 5 states away or so. Just for fun I sent a flirty little message, figuring with a picture like that, he's probably busy with chicks that were more geographically desirable and in his own league.

Low and behold he wrote be back and seemed all flirty and interested. I can't remember the circumstances by my free trial was about to expire and it was going to cost $5 to extend it for 2 weeks or a month or something like that and I was just going to let it go, but a lady I worked with insisted I not drop this, since they'd gone through all my failed guy drama up to that point. So she paid the $5 to extend it. So I kept corresponding with him exchanging emails before my term expired.

I should have seen the writing on the wall when he was so eager to correspond with me and when flowers and candy showed up at my place of business. No guy ever sent me flowers and candy, and I was always concerned about my friends that did shower girls with gifts like that. (Flash forward to dating my husband, I told him never ever to pay to send me flowers at work, if he wanted to give me flowers he could buy the $5 bunch at the grocery store and deliver them himself or wait until he saw me later) This is because it's sign of what to expect post marriage and to a girl like me, I see this as a bottomless pit of wasted money. $5 no, but $30-$40 a pop, way too wasteful. And they don't last nearly as long as the flowers from the store do.

Red flag number 3 or perhaps 4(I believe I've covered 2 now, maybe more), the day he sent me the flowers and candy, he tracked down how to call me at work. Granted I did work customer service so he called the 800#, but still, perhaps a little to stalkerish. Though I will admit had the rest of the story gone differently, I'd look back at that as romantic rather than red flagish. At the time, I didn't see it as a red flag, but I should have. Several of my friends had gotten married right out of college or were engaged and I had no prospects on the horizon, so I though what the hell. Why not take a chance. I generally learn my lesson after one time.

So anyways after that we exchanged phone numbers and began talking on the phone on top of emailing. After some time we were curious enough to meet, but I was never going to go meet a stranger by myself. He offered to come visit me. My friends were well aware of this and were on standby for the weekend in case it didn't go well. So I go to the airport to pick him up and what I had pictured in my head and what I picked up didn't quite match up. Do you remember how I said full head of hair and confident demeanor? The picture was clearly several years old, which I can deal with thinning hair, when someone carries them self with confidence. I knew in the first instance I saw him that I wasn't attracted to him. He looked as if he was 30lbs lighter than me dripping wet, which I've hung out with plenty guys my height or shorter, and they still weren't that lite. His shoulders were hunched over and he carried himself as if he was going to get rejected. Why did he even come?!?!

So I knew from that moment it was going to be a LONG weekend. Thank God for my friends! So that I didn't have to be alone with him much. And he stayed in a hotel, because I'm not an idiot. So it started off awkward and it just got worse from there. Want to know why? He kept fishing for complements! I'm happy to give a complement unsolicited if I believe it's deserved, but when someone is fishing for one, I won't even throw the fisher a bone. Perhaps that's how I added to the awkwardness that weekend. But I refused to give some BS "you're so great" when I didn't believe it. That's not to say he wasn't a nice guy. He really was, we just weren't a match and I knew it, I just felt bad for him and me both that we had to make it through the weekend. And I didn't know how to let him down easily. Perhaps it was because of immaturity, perhaps I was just chicken. Either way, the awkwardness still wasn't over.

This was because rather than accept it wasn't a match, he had to call me out on not biting while he was fishing. I think also on my friends being around the whole time. I suppose if that's what he was expecting, he deserved an explanation. But I didn't know how to be nice about it. Again either immaturity or chicken or both.

Anyways the weekend finally ended and I was glad to drop him off at the airport and send him on his way. I do remember feeling a little guilt because it wasn't cheap to fly out to see me and stay in a hotel etc. But, it was as much a risk on his part as it was on mine. And one shouldn't start a relationship based on guilt. I do hope he found a good match for him. My friends and I had a laugh about it for years. I hope he was able to laugh about it to. I never saw or spoke to him again after that. And I never ever ever was tempted to try online dating sites ever again. Though I know of people that it's worked for. It just wasn't my cup of tea.